Monday, July 20, 2009


Since he's been born Connor has been held and/or rocked to sleep after his evening bottle. Even though recently I have been leaving him in his crib to cry it out if he woke up when I put him down, I always made sure he was asleep first.

Last night bed time was a struggle. Usually he is in a half-stupor after his bottle. He fights being burped because he wants to lay down and go to sleep. This time, though, he was wide awake. He tried laying down, but it was like he couldn't sleep. He would close his eyes and I thought he was drifting off but after a minute or two he would whine and cry and throw himself about in frustration. He tried on his belly, on his back, snuggled under my arm. I tried rocking, singing, and reading. Nothing worked. I even let him sit up next to me and watch a little tv.

An hour and a half after his bed time I'd had enough. I decided to put him in his crib and deal with the inevitable tears. I took him to his room and laid him down. He sighed and curled up in a little ball. Shocked, I fled the room as quietly as possible, expecting woeful wails to follow me out the door. Nothing but silence. Minutes later he still wasn't crying. I listened at the door. He was asleep!

Is it possible he's outgrown being rocked to sleep? I'll try putting him in his crib while he is in his post-bottle torpor tonight and see what happens.

....I can't believe I'm saying this, because I have been thrilled with every development that has made Connor more independent, but I think I might actually MISS my evenings holding my sleeping child.

The other day I was kissing all over his face and he pushed me away with a very distinctive sound of annoyance.

Already, Connor? thing for certain, suddenly having a baby who no longer wants constant cuddling isn't giving me the insane urge to have another one. I may miss it, but there are sooo many things I won't miss. Like formula.


Yep! By the time my Jumbo Costco cans of formula run out, Connor will be a year old and I can switch him fully to whole milk. I am a little intimidated by the change. It means that most his nutrients are going to come from the food I feed him.

I was reading the other day about how important proper nutrition is for brain development. There was a time when it was a parent's job to keep their babies healthy and alive and just raise them up with proper ethics and behavior. Now its almost as if we're expected to do everything in our power to raise little prodigies. Maybe it is unrealistic pressure from the media and companies that want us to buy their products, but it is HARD not to buy into it. Doesn't EVERY parent want what is best for their child? If there is a food, a product, a toy that can help them develop into healthier, smarter, happier people how could you NOT want it? It is hard to know when to draw the line.

I do the best I can, but is it possible to ever do enough?

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