Things Have Changed

Kids keep you on your toes. Constantly changing, growing, doing new things. It is a wonderful thing to watch....and at the same time, completely terrifying.

I bought Connor a new toy...brightly colored textured plastic rings that can be linked together, hooked on things, etc. I hung a few links from the handle of his carrier and was pleased to see that not only did he stare at them raptly, he grabbed them, pulled them, and put them in his mouth. This was a big developmental milestone for him, because before this he wasn't really grabbing and holding things so much as occassionally swinging an arm at them as though he didn't like having them in his personal space. To not only grab, but put in his mouth too? It means he's figured out what those little hands are for! Yay! You think this might have alarmed as well as delighted me...but nope. I was just happy.

Later I had him laying on the dryer while I was did the laundry clothes. It is a safe enough place for my little non-roller. I had the links dangling from the door of a cabinet above the dryer for him to look at and play with. They weren't directly over his head like they are with the carrier and as I was folding clothes I saw him twist his torso up so he was almost on his side in order to give him better access to the links. "Oh...he may start rolling soon now afterall!" I thought with pride. "My little guy is driving a truck through those milestones!"

Was I alarmed? Nope, not at all...not until I saw this:

I had put him in his Bumbo seat and while I was watching him he just sat there contentedly observing his surroundings, seeming completely innocent. I walked around the corner to grab a dish cloth and when I returned I see Mr. Don't-Mind-Me-I'm-Just-Sitting-Here getting into my oranges.

That is when I started to freak out.

It is one thing for him to happily grab at the perfectly safe, non-choking hazard toys I give him, and another thing entirely for him to be GETTING INTO THINGS. He's only three months old! I thought I had another couple of months at least of having a nice, calm baby who would still be where I put him when I set him down. Now I have a baby who is approaching mobility in a semi, and I have to think about where I put him and what might be in range of those curious little fingers.

Wasn't it enough that I had to worry about SIDS, reflux, RSV, daycare, and other people? Now I gotta worry about choking hazards, falling hazards, poisions, and whatever stuff the dog has managed to drag around. I need to baby proof...and to be entirely honest, I am not ready. I don't own a single baby-proofing item. I'm not even entirely sure where I need to start.

Connor, can't you stay the way you are just a little while longer? No? ...**sigh** that's what I thought....

Is There A Such Thing As Too Cute?

This morning Connor was feeding and he popped off, looked up at me, and gave me this adorable, mischievous grin. At that moment I realized something that he will soon figure out...it is going to be HARD for me to be the mommy spank him when he smiles at me like that. The other thing I realized, this kid is going to be TROUBLE...and a total charmer. I see a future of teachers and daycare workers who will be completely exasperated with him and totally in love with him at the same time...and the girls...oh the girls. One of my first goals is going to have to be to teach him to respect women!

And for an example of almost too darn cute, here's video evidence!

Takin The Plunge

Update:
This was sooo cute, I had to take a picture. Connor all bundled up and ready for his walk...

So, with a little experimentation I have discovered that Connor has problems with the Soy fake cheese. The problems are not as severe as with Dairy, but enough that I know that I can't eat it. No more Tofutti for me! :(

I've decided to go on a soy-free, dairy free diet. Even eliminating hidden sources of Soy and Dairy to see how he fares. I'm also giving up the fenugreek temporarily to see if that also might be contributing to his gastric issues.

It basically means I am going to have to be on a whole-foods diet, since pretty much EVERYTHING is made with either Dairy or Soy. I'd gripe about it more if my weight-loss hadn't picked up momentum again. If my current progress keeps up I will make a major goal in the next few weeks and celebrate by pulling all my old clothes out of storage to see what I can fit into now. That promises to be fun!

The way I am eating is also a lot healthier for me, I know. For breakfast I had a big bowl of oatmeal sweetened with brown sugar, 2 cups of grapes (overdoing it I know, but really, I have so little), and a couple of slices of prosciutto.

The only downside I see is how expensive fruits, vegetables, and meats are these days. I'm not really sure how I am going to manage...hopefully I can figure something out. One method will be coupons and sales. I'll buy whatever is cheap at the moment. After Connor wakes up from his nap I am going to put on his full body coat, strap on the baby Bjorn and hike over to the nearest conveyance store to buy a Sunday paper. Mega Coupons!

I remember a time when such a walk would have been a miserable experience for me. I can get around MUCH better now, just with the 50+ pounds I have lost so far. Remind me of that when I am complaining about the lack of cheese in my life....because in spite of all of these positive changes, I swear, some days all I want to do is bury myself in cheesy nachos and McDonalds cheeseburgers, and queso, and....well, you get the idea.

I Had A Strange Dream Last Night

I dreamt that I responded to a CraigsList add for a group non-sexual strictly platonic touching exercise. Basically, a bunch of people would get together and touch each other in a non-sexual way. Why? Because in today's society we live in profound isolation from each other, separated by boundaries created by technology, culture, and indifference to each other. The exercise was intended to re-bond people with their fellow humans by sharing a small, non-invasive intimacy with each other.

So anyway, I read the article and was intrigued so I went to the event. It was AMAZING. It was just people standing there touching hands, shoulders, backs, hugging, resting head on shoulders, that sort of thing. I felt so connected and accepted.

After the event was over I wanted to experience that wonderfulness again, and spread the message of physical connection, so I attempted to host my own event.

It didn't go quite so well. During MY event one of the attendees, a man, was sexually assaulted by another man and *I* was arrested for instigating the situation.

After that I woke up.

It DID make me think, though. We ARE terribly isolated from each other. Humans once lived in close-knit, interdependant communities, and now we're lucky if we have that sort of connection to the people that live in the same house. I don't think the idea of a non-sexual group touching exercise is a BAD idea....but I would never go to one. I don't want people getting in my bubble.

I feel old

Late last night the baby was sleeping uneasily next to me, congestion making sleep difficult for him. I was wide awake, listening to his gurgling breath, and unable to sleep. My thoughts were spinning around in my head restlessly so I decided it would help if I talked to someone. The internet is a wonderful place because at any given moment of any day, there are people available to talk to. I logged on to a discussion group and there were several people there already engaged in conversation. It didn't take long to realize that I was the oldest person there. The conversations circled around fashion, gossip, buying tshirts and designer jeans. I logged off not long after signing in.

Was there ever a time where my biggest concern was how many tshirts I owned and which corporate logos they sported? Somewhere between debts, diapers, daycare, deadlines, the dead-beat dad, and life-altering decisions I slipped from my carefree young adulthood to being a grown-up. Did having a child do this to me? More importantly, is there any way to make it go away?

Another Reason to Move to Boston

People tell me that people are the same everywhere you go. However, the recent election shows that is not to be true. There were states that were VERY red, and VERY blue. Massachusettes was a state that was very blue. 62/36 in favor of Obama. THAT right there tells me that Boston and Atlanta are pretty different as far as what is considered important by the general populace.

http://www.cnn.com/ELECTION/2008/results/individual/#mapPMA

This link showed how the votes go by age. The older people got, the more likely they were to vote McCain (even though the overall vote in all age groups still favored Obama) Boston is a college town, so there are a lot of young, idealistic people there. People that still have hope for change.

It just seems like a place I would fit in better.

As a side note, all the states I am considering moving to were blue states this election. I don't think it is accidental that I want to go there!

Connor Rolled Over Today!!

Connor rolled over for the first time today. From tummy to back, which is backwards from how most babies do it, I've been told. Ah well, I have a backwards little boy! I am posting a rough phone video now. I have a much better one taken with my video camera, but I can't find the cable to hook it to my computer so I will post that later!